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Creating a point system is a method to help you objectively assess the importance of potential wedding guests based on various criteria. It can assist you in prioritizing who should be on the official guest list and who should be on the backup list. Here's an example of how you can create and use a point system:


Step 1: Identify Criteria 

Start by determining the criteria that are important to you and your partner in deciding the significance of a wedding guest. Common criteria may include:

  1. Relationship with the couple: How close are you to this person?
  2. Past involvement in your life: Have they been a consistent part of your journey?
  3. Future involvement in your life: Do you see them playing a role in your future?
  4. Shared memories and experiences: What meaningful moments have you shared?
  5. Family ties: Immediate family, extended family, or distant relatives.
  6. Friendships: Close friends, distant friends, acquaintances.
  7. Social and cultural obligations: For example, cultural or religious traditions that dictate certain guest inclusions.
  8. Contribution to wedding preparations: Bridesmaids, groomsmen, or those actively involved in planning.
  9. Special circumstances: Unique situations like mentors, lifelong friends, or anyone with a remarkable connection.


Step 2: Assign Points

Next, assign points to each criterion to quantify their importance. You can set these points on a scale of, for example, 1 to 5, with 5 being the highest and 1 being the lowest. Here's an example:

  • Immediate family: 5 points
  • Close friends: 4 points
  • Extended family: 3 points
  • Coworkers: 2 points
  • Acquaintances: 1 point
  • Significant past involvement: 4 points
  • Likely future involvement: 3 points
  • Shared memories: 4 points
  • Cultural or religious obligation: 4 points
  • Contribution to wedding preparations: 5 points
  • Special circumstances: 5 points


Step 3: Calculate Total Points

For each potential guest, add up the points they score based on your criteria. For example, if you're considering inviting your cousin who is also your best friend, she might get:

  • Immediate family: 5 points
  • Close friends: 4 points
  • Significant past involvement: 4 points
  • Shared memories: 4 points
  • Contribution to wedding preparations: 0 points (if she's not involved)
  • Total points: 17 points


Step 4: Set a Threshold

You and your partner can establish a threshold or a total point value that guests must meet to make it onto the official guest list. Anyone who surpasses this threshold is considered a VIP, while those who fall below it can be placed on the backup list.

For example, if you decide that a total of 15 points or higher is necessary to be on the official guest list, your cousin and best friend would qualify, but others with lower scores would be on the backup list.


Using a point system can help you make more objective decisions about who to invite and ensure that those with the closest and most meaningful connections to you are prioritized. It's a helpful tool for managing a guest list when you have limited space or budget constraints.


We are Lili and Walde, a happy married couple that enjoys creating art for one of life’s most special days, your Wedding Day! 🎉

LiliWeds unofficially started way back in 2015. While planning our own wedding, we struggled to find Wedding Stationery that represented us and matched our vibe. We soon learned that, if we wanted to have a special invite, one that truly spoke to our wedding style, we would have to make it ourselves.

A year after our wedding, we decided we wanted to help other couples have the stationery of their dreams too, without having to go through all the difficulties we faced when creating our own. These past 7 years have been filled with love, laughter and #happytears that are mostly shed when we read your lovely reviews and email responses. It fills us with joy to see how our ART has been a part of over 1,000 lovely marriages.

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